Keep It Ugly
by ThreeBulletsAtTheDangerParade
Summary: "I looked in the mirror and I was like, 'You are still uncool,' and I was really happy with that revelation." A tribute to a major inspiration in my life, Gerard Way, because not everybody has it easy. But not everybody pushes on through either.


"**I looked in the mirror and I was like, 'You are _still_ uncool,' and I was really happy with that revelation." A tribute to a major inspiration in my life, Gerard Way, because not everybody has a picture-perfect start.**

"Keep. It. Ugly."

"We mean this more than anything..."

"No matter how bad it gets. Never. Give. Up."

Now I know

That I can't make you stay

But where's your heart?

But where's your heart?

But where's your...

And I know

There's nothing I can say

To change that part

To change that part

To change...

So many

Bright lights, they cast a shadow

But can I speak?

Well is it hard understanding

I'm incomplete

A life that's so demanding

I get so weak

A love that's so demanding

I can't speak

I am not afraid to keep on living

I am not afraid to walk this world alone

Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven

Nothing you can say can stop me going home

Can you see

My eyes are shining bright

'Cause I'm out here

On the other side

Of a jet black hotel mirror

And I'm so weak

Is it hard understanding

I'm incomplete

A love that's so demanding

I get weak

Not everyone had a picture-perfect start.

Not everyone had friends.

Not everyone was liked.

Not everyone was appreciated.

Not everyone is scarless.

Church scared him. Death everywhere, the cross, the blood, the sacrifice. He ran.

He was in a play in fourth grade. His first singing act. He was Peter Pan.

His grandma, Elena Lee Rush, taught him everything he knew. She taught him to sing. She taught him to play guitar. She taught him to draw. She taught him to paint. "She taught me everything."

He was overweight. He was lonely. People sneered as they passed him in the halls. They called him names, they beat him black and blue, they forced him to agree.

They told him he was ugly.

He had one friend. He liked her. But she took pictures sleazy pictures with her boyfriend. She waved them in his face. He was alone.

He was held at gunpoint. He was only 15 but he was ready to die. "I got held up with a .357 Magnum, had a gun pointed to my head and put on the floor, execution-style."

He lived. But suicide was always in the back of his mind. At one point he was ready to kill himself.

He wanted to kill himself. He was going to kill himself. But… just maybe things could get better.

He wanted to be a guitarist. But he was kicked out of every band for lack of skill.

He took up art. He went to art, posing as a girl, because that way everyone was nice to him. They treated him with kindness, something he had never felt before.

He had a girlfriend in college. She committed suicide.

He was an intern for Cartoon Network. He was in New York. On 9-11. He was across the river. He watched 9-11. He broke as he watched the flames. The stench of burning metal. The smoke in his eyes. The sound of the bodies hitting the floor.

"I literally said to myself, 'Fuck art. I've gotta get out of the basement. I've gotta see the world. I've gotta make a difference.'"

He wrote Skylines and Turnstiles. The first song of My Chemical Romance.

He got together with Ray, Frank, and Mikey. They completed, "_I Bought You My Bullets, You Bought Me Your Love._"

He was drunk. He was on drugs. He smoked. He was drunk for three years. But the band held. The fans held. They were a family. Brothers in arms.

"Bob, Frank, Mikey, and Ray are hanging on a cliff. You only have time to save one. Who would you save?"

"I'd jump too."

_Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge. _His grandmother died. _Helena. _They write music to save lives. They write for a way to vent. To stop suicide. To give people hope and faith. Always have faith.

They opened for Green Day.

_The Black Parade. _Death obsessed. Sobriety. Control. He was in control again. The Paramour mansion. The night-terrors. The haunts. Mikey's insanity. Run screaming. Get out. Get out. GET OUT.

Married. He found love in a women after all. He found love. He found her. And she gave him a baby girl. Bandit Lee Way. His baby girl.

"Don't piss away your life on suicide—it's a bullshit way out."

_Danger Days. _A brighter future. Things are looking up. No more Black Parade welcomes. No. Welcome to the Zones. Welcome to the true lives of the Fabulous Killjoys.

"Just know that when you say, 'MCR saved my life' the feeling is mutual."

I am not afraid to keep on living

I am not afraid to walk this world alone

Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven

Nothing you can say can stop me going home

I am not afraid to keep on living

I am not afraid to walk this world alone

Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven

Nothing you can say can stop me going home

These bright lights have always blinded me

These bright lights have always blinded me

I say

I see you lying next to me

With words I thought I'd never speak

Awake and unafraid

Asleep or dead

(How can I see, I see you lying) 'Cause I see you lying next to me

(How can I see, I see you lying) With words I thought I'd never speak

(How can I see, I see you lying) Awake and unafraid

(How can I see, I see you lying) Asleep or dead

'Cause I see you lying next to me

With words I thought I'd never speak

Awake and unafraid

Asleep or dead

'Cause I see you lying next to me

With words I thought I'd never speak

Awake and unafraid

Asleep or dead

I am not afraid to keep on living

I am not afraid to walk this world alone

(Or dead)

Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven

Nothing you can say can stop me going home

(Or dead)

I am not afraid to keep on living

I am not afraid to walk this world alone

(Or dead)

Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven

Nothing you can say can stop me going home

(Or dead)

I am not afraid to keep on living

I am not afraid to walk this world alone

(Or dead)

Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven

Nothing you can say can stop me going home

"I am living proof that the world is not better off with out you. I am Gerard Way and I survived."

"Hey girls. You are beautiful."

"Keep. It. Ugly."


End file.
